Tomorrow, my handsome hubby and I will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. I know, I know ~ you must be thinking….”What?”…”15 years?!”…”how can this be?! you are so young?!”. yes, yes. I am struggling with this myself…not the marriage, the vast number of years.
Confession: I have a funny goal to make our marriage last to 18 years.
Now before you get nervous about us divorcing in 3 years, let me explain further.
When I was a sophomore in High School, my parents announced to me, my brother and my sister that they were getting a divorce. That news was the most significant life change I had ever experienced and my grief was considerable. I can remember pacing back and forth in my bedroom muttering to myself that I was going crazy through sobs. The following Sunday, when we were taking prayer requests during church youth group, I shared the update with my peers. Now, what I didn’t know then was that God was already at work in regards to my own marriage.
Only a week or two prior did a new fella join our youth group and he remembers a young, little, rich, white, Mexican sharing that very prayer request. Though he didn’t know her all that well, he understood better than anyone, what she had been experiencing because, you see, the reason he joined our group was, only a few weeks prior, his parents also had just gone through separating and it was that divorce that brought him to me. His parents had been married roughly, the same number of years as my parents. He was the oldest of 3 siblings and I was the oldest of 3 siblings. We were a matched set!
Personally, I tend to lean a little “superstitious” and I have always had the divorce “marker” in my mind set at 17 years. Neither of our parents could make it past that number and I wondered if at 17 years we would be inclined to follow suit. But of course, the God who brought us together all those years ago is the same God we invite into our home and we, as best as we know how, follow His leading in all things. As the big 18 draws near, my fears lessen because with each year, our marriage strengthens. I’m not going to pretend we were perfect early on because we sincerely were not even close. (PSH! I would have to kill LOTS of people who watched us struggle through those early years to perpetuate that kind of lie!) – nor am I going to lie about being perfect now. Maturity and wisdom continue to flourish within us but mostly, I just find it easier and easier to rest in His (God’s) faithfulness and by His grace, we just might be able to make this thing work and forge a new path for marriage in our family and hopefully for our children’s marriages/families.
Happy Anniversary to my “Studly,” G.I. Josh. I think you’re stuck with me, for a really, really,
REALLY long time.