I don’t know if it’s true for everyone but I always want to be “more famous” than I am now (or I always wanted to be more famous than I was at the time). I get energy from being up in front ~ although ironically, I despise charades. My home church was very musical when I was a kid so I got to scratch the performance ‘itch’ on a very regular basis but never, and I mean, NEVER did I get a lead part in anything at church. I had a good enough voice to sing a solo but apparently I was not “lead material.” In an ugly twist, my younger brother was ALWAYS (and I do mean “always”) assigned the lead part which meant those illusive parts were always in my face!
In high school, our church youth choir did a Christmas musical that took the Birth of Jesus and dropped it into present day surroundings. I had dreamed of being in that musical since I was a kid. I even had enough influence with the music pastor to convince him to pull it out for us to do! A super handsome and talented young man was already slated to be Joseph and I knew that I HAD to be Mary. There was a wedding duet and I loved singing with that fella (yes, it was J) and his voice got me all ‘twitterpated” (Sorry J, I know you are DYING right now). 😉 on the first day of rehearsals, after I had convinced myself that I would play Mary, I learned that the part had been given to another girl who was 2 years younger than me and my arch nemesis. Mary was a soprano part and the PLRWM was an Alto. Curses! foiled again! I was pretty bitter.
I have spent a lot of time pondering why the Lord would keep “fame” out of my reach and I have decided that there is no way in the world that I could handle it. If I had been a cheerleader in school, I would have most assuredly gotten tangled up in drugs and alcohol. My faith was not strong enough to resist the urge to “fit in.” Instead, I was in the band, and despite what you may have heard about band camp, I wasn’t overly scandalized during those four years. However, because I was “popular” in the band circle, I do look back with certain regret.
If doors had been opened for me to pursue a formal career in entertainment, I would likely be all over the supermarket tabloids next to other celebs who started out strong but lost their footing along the way. I have decided (and I am grateful) that God ‘deprived’ me of my infamous path to ruin by keeping opportunity out of my reach….and by surrounding me with loving friends and a stern hubby who keep me in my place.
My biggest claim to fame came last year when I got to sing as part of a super fun quartet with other really talented singers at the City of La Habra’s Firework Spectacular! – there were a couple of thousand people in the audience so I have climbed up a bit since those olden days of being cast as “Girl #2” for an audience of 200. What I wonder about now is my son D. He also sang a solo at the firework show last year for thousands and he was only 8 years old. He is a hoot to be around when he is ‘performing’ as he has been gifted with an ear for accents and an uncanny ability to tell a fantastical story at such a young age. I guess I’d better help him solidify his faith because his path my look a little more dazzling than mine was and I sure want him to be grounded and steadfast.
Tomorrow night, you will find me on the stage again, singing my guts out. I look forward to seeing many of you there.