I am afraid.
Is that bad?
I am afraid that this is going to get harder before it gets easier.
I am afraid that because I have been so “strong” that it’s going to get WAY harder before it gets easier.
I am afraid that this is going to bring me to the brink of my sanity.
I want to act like I can’t take anymore so I can be done and move on but it would be a lie.
I’m afraid that God is going to allow more bad stuff.
Really bad stuff…
Really REALLY bad stuff. Like terminal illness – or death.
I’m afraid that God wants to use me and that I haven’t suffered enough to be a true testimony.
I’m afraid that this process is going to be too long.
I’m afraid that months are going to feel like years.
I am afraid that people will move on with their lives and stop praying.
I’m afraid that less prayers mean slower progress.
I’m afraid that slower progress is going to make years feel like decades.
I’m afraid of doing wrong things thus slowing it down even more.
I’m afraid of eternal consequences.
I’m afraid that this pattern will not end with my generation.
I’m afraid the kids will look back at this as the time they learned to quit instead of fight.
I’m afraid to pray for God’s will.